If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
