We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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