he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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