The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My breasts were aching with rage.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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