everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
