A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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