been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
