was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
