i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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