Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
