we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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