Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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