I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize