it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
