I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
