Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
