Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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