So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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