Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
