Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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