i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize