come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
