ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
