2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize