i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
