Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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