I love black thongs
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize