I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
