Don't you send me to vm
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
