im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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