She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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