so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
