You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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