how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's get the cat blown out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
