Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
