3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
