whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
