And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
