D3 body, D1 cock
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
