Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
