So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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