It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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