he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
