he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
