I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize