Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
