I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
