You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
