wat bout pragnant strippers??
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
