No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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