She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
