you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
