i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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