Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
