I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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