I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
