this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
