we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
