ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
