I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
