AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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