woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize