I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
