I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
