after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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