Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
