his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
