i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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