maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
