Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
