I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
that may or may not have been my penis.
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